Saturday, November 9, 2013

Suddenly Ninjas!

My loyal fans haven't seen much of me lately. My attempts to guide the bears gently to the Code last spring left me feeling empty and frustrated. Despite many hundreds of hours of dedicated service, I was unable to get through to even a single one of this hard-hearted and ungrateful lot, and was forced to destroy all of their imaginary space vessels and purge them from my corporation. The experience left me so disillusioned with EVE and its community that I ragequit for several months. During my time away I took lots of long bike rides, walks on the beach, so forth and so on, seeking some spiritual clarity and inner peace. After much reflection, I have come to the conclusion that the only right thing to do would be to return to EVE and do my utmost to harvest carebear tears and teach them the finer points of the game through the application of lots of good old fashioned tough ninja love.

To this end, I resubbed all of my accounts and went to the old masters of mission invasion, the venerable sages of tear-harvesting, the corporation Suddenly Ninjas, and asked them to take me in among them and teach me their wisdom. Little did I know, during the last few months while I was away, this historic corporation had been undergoing a resurgence, rebuilding their numbers and striking fear into the hearts of mission runners throughout high security space. Several of the finest former members of Revolutionary Front had even joined them, so it feels a bit like coming home after a long journey.

Many of you may remember one of my early articles, The Dark Arts: The Way of the Space Ninja, where I expounded upon the basic techniques of ninja salvaging and ninja looting for new players. In that article I mentioned that the true ninja's art is finding clever ways to murder or even steal the mission runner's space boats. My next few articles you can expect to see in the coming weeks will cover my efforts to master that most excellent craft.

But wait, Bot, I heard that the ninja way was dead...
You heard wrong. Mission invasion is alive and well in EVE despite a long succession of nerfs over the course of several years. The true internet space ninja knows that he must adapt to the changing game, that he must stay one step ahead of the carebears. The bears not being very smart, that part is actually pretty easy. A quick review of the TEARS alliance killboard will reveal that moronic MRs are still losing pricey ships doing foolish things, and my yesterday afternoon in Dodixie was enough to convince me that the isk and the tears are flowing more freely than ever before. I look forward to sharing my adventures with you in the weeks to come. I'll leave you with this killmail from today that was just linked to me in corp chat:
Always pay your ransoms, gentlemen ;)


  1. ah, you only got half the story, i'm gal starfinder and was partnered to logan last night,

    2013.11.09 21:50:00

    Victim: Gal Starfinder
    Corp: Perpetual Podding
    Alliance: Unknown
    Faction: Unknown
    Destroyed: Hurricane
    System: Osmon
    Security: 0.7
    Damage Taken: 123529

    Involved parties:

    Name: Nitsuj Crawford (laid the final blow)
    Security: 0.30
    Corp: Garoun Investment Bank
    Alliance: None
    Faction: None
    Ship: Exequror

    as you see I was there to... LOL

    Yes, we made a mistake and engaged the ninja, but that happened about 1hr before the above killmail, you see during that time my corp tried unsuccessfully to mount a rescue attemt to save the CNR using 1st, two T3 cruisers, I counted at least 12 ninja owned ships at site helping hold there combatant ships togeather.... , then we switched to ewar griffens to break the warp locks.

    Even though we lost the engagement we had a great time, I have a feeling it wasn't 'suddenly ninja's' easiest killmail and learnt a lot from that fight.

    thanks for posting this.

    Gal Starfinder

    1. It's awesome that you saw this and supplied your side of the story. I actually had no idea what had happened as the guy who posted the KM was afk when I tried to talk to him and get the story. I just posted it anyway to demonstrate that good kills were still resulting from ninja activity in highsec.

      Thanks for posting and happy that you had a good time.