Thursday, May 9, 2013

2 Hulks, a Retriever, and an Ibis

It's springtime in New England. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, et cetera, et cetera. As a result, I haven't been playing as much EVE Online as usual. I've been getting outside a lot, riding my bicycle and enjoying the beautiful weather, only getting online for a couple hours at a time, two or three times per week. I can always make time, however, to enrich the gameplay experience of the highsec mining community by enforcing the New Halaima Code of Conduct.

The ice fields of Nakugard
Welcome to Nakugard
Nakugard is a 0.5 security system in Minmatar space, right next door to Hek, the 5th largest trade hub in EVE. Nakugard has 23 asteroid belts and 1 ice belt, and at any given moment there are typically around 100 people in local chat, many of them miners. Bot-aspirancy is an accepted, indeed a celebrated part of the local culture. When scouting the area, I was horrified and disgusted to see miners making comments like, "I'm going afk," and "love afk mining," in local chat without a hint of shame or remorse.

Nakugard has clearly already felt the influence of the New Order. The ice belt is full of Skiffs and Procurers. James 315 and the New Order are a frequent topic of conversation. While many of the local miners are well aware of the Code, the system seems to have become a sort of hub for rebels and their sympathizers. Clearly they are in need of some punitive action, and I've been spending some of my extremely limited game time to do my part by ganking any exhumers I find floating around without a tank.

This incorrigable bot-aspirant was found mining Scordite in the asteroid belts alongside his alt, Demmon666. My scout found them there in two Hulks, mining away and barely aware of their surroundings. When my scout warped in with a Procurer and sidled right up to them at 500 meters it raised no alarms. A ship scanner revealed no tank on either of them. My scout made himself comfortable, pointed his strip miner at a rock, and waited.

Meanwhile, my alt H3donism Bot rushed to the area from six or seven jumps away, threw together a Gankalyst in Hek, and jumped into Nakugard. The minutes that had passed had done nothing to alert the target. I saw no reason to delay any longer, so I warped in and cleansed the belt of demmon6's Hulk with purifying fire. Surprisingly, he then found his way back to the keyboard:

[ 2013.05.03 15:17:05 ] EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Nakugard
[ 2013.05.03 15:20:15 ] H3donism Bot > gf
[ 2013.05.03 15:20:56 ] demmon6 > all watch out for H3donism Bot (GANKER)
[ 2013.05.03 15:22:21 ] H3donism Bot > slander!
[ 2013.05.03 15:22:38 ] H3donism Bot > i demand an apology!
[ 2013.05.03 15:23:56 ] Demmon666 > kill your self
[ 2013.05.03 15:24:44 ] H3donism Bot > that isn't very nice :(
[ 2013.05.03 15:24:58 ] Demmon666 > your not very nice
[ 2013.05.03 15:25:07 ] Demmon666 > so kill your self
[ 2013.05.03 15:26:09 ] H3donism Bot > all this unpleasantness could have been avoided if you had just purchased a mining permit
[ 2013.05.03 15:26:32 ] H3donism Bot > have a little respect for the law in highsec, bro
[ 2013.05.03 15:26:59 ] mammasita > H3donism Bot hey ur not concord lol
[ 2013.05.03 15:27:20 ] mammasita > H3donism Bot and thoes permits is like toilet paper lol
[ 2013.05.03 15:27:48 ] mammasita > Demmon666 i wouldn't say that not nice and i think CCP can band u from the game
[ 2013.05.03 15:27:55 ] mammasita > but dont qout me on that
[ 2013.05.03 15:28:03 ] H3donism Bot > James 315 is the law in highsec, and I am a knight of the new order, so enforcing the law is my business
[ 2013.05.03 15:28:17 ] mammasita > no he's not lol
[ 2013.05.03 15:28:35 ] mammasita > he more of a joke in HS then anythings, sorry to say
[ 2013.05.03 15:28:57 ] Estherenza > ^
[ 2013.05.03 15:29:19 ] H3donism Bot > Kill: demmon6 (Hulk) obey the Code, or this could happen to any of you, as sad as it makes me
[ 2013.05.03 15:29:43 ] mammasita > COME AT ME BROOO i anit scuuured
[ 2013.05.03 15:29:48 ] H3donism Bot >

After demmon6, I had to run, the out-of-game world wanted me. A few days later I was able to log on once more and scout around. I was sad to see that the local miners hadn't yet learned to respect the Code. They were back out there, doing what they always do. I steeled myself to carry out my duty, and began scouting for another target.

It took only a few minutes to find Dralanku in his Hulk, sitting right on top of his alt in an Orca. Dralanku was clearly afk. When my scout Procurer arrived and got in position to provide a warp-in his mining lasers weren't even active. He was just sitting there idle in space. Eventually, as I was making myself ready, he turned them on, but remained oblivious to the world around him. I don't know about you all, but if I was a miner it would make me pretty nervous if somebody I didn't know warped to my belt, approached me to 500 meters, and stayed there mining. Somehow it almost never tips them off, as obvious a setup as it is.

I warped in and blasted him, of course. This time I made a youtube video! It's a new thing for me, so be kind, I just uploaded it as is, with no editing.

Vik silf and Lord Jadise
Several hours later, I was back at the computer, and figured I'd seek out another target. My scout located a Hulk and a Mackinaw in an asteroid belt. The Hulk warped off shortly after he got there, but the Mack stayed and scans proved that he was tankless. I got my gank alt ready.

Just as I was getting ready to go at it, the Mack warped off. I figured he might just be headed back to station to drop off his ore and return, so I bided my time. Suddenly, my scout noticed flashing on his overview. A retriever on the far end of the belt, which we had been ignoring, had just gone suspect! And was continuing to mine! This was too good to be true and had to be taken advantage of. My scout quickly dropped a corp bookmark on one of the roids near the Retriever, while my gank alt jumped into system. I warped to the bookmark and lawfully killed the criminal miner, then warped away with my Catalyst intact and docked up.

My scout then moved in, looted and salvaged the wreck. As he was doing this, he noticed that the escaped Mackinaw pilot had returned to the belt, but in an Ibis. This was a curious development indeed.  The Ibis approached him, and my scout watched, curious what the pilot's intentions might be. The Ibis yellowboxed him. 

We considered what this could mean. Surely the Ibis pilot wasn't going to gank a tanked Procurer with
The Catalyst - Highsec Code Enforcement
a rookie ship. We figured it had to either be some kind of passive aggressive "carebear stare", or maybe the fellow was scanning his ship to see if he was fitted as a gank scout. My scout decided that whatever it was, it wasn't getting us another exhumer kill, so he started aligning to warp off. Just as he did, his overview flashed red. The Bear was indeed trying to gank a Procurer with an Ibis.

At that point, it was too late to abort the warp, so he bounced right back and found the pod floating there stationary, locked it up and killed it with his Warrior 1s for the best podkill so far in our Nakugard campaign. GFs were exchanged all around. Well...mostly the GFs were from us, with the botters, bot-aspirants and shameless rebels in local studiously ignoring us.

Following Through
Ganking miners is always a charity. Those of us who do it, do it more as a service to the EVE community as a whole than for profit or lulz. That being the case, it is always best to reach out to the miners involved and explain to them the reasons why their ship was singled out for destruction. Lately I have been sending out a form EVE mail used by the New Order, and often offering friendly advice in local chat as well, so the greater community of the solar system can benefit as well.

Unfortunately, carebears are, generally speaking, an ungrateful and vulgar people. Some of the replies that you receive display a true lack of class. Go to and check out the weekly Highsec Miner Grab Bag posts for some real insight into the true nature of the EVE carebear. I promise you it will be both amusing and enlightening.

For those of you who want more, here's a couple chatlogs I recorded during all this:

1 comment:

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