Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Sweet vindication in Inaya

Bored and frustrated with all the metagame controversies I've gotten myself involved in recently, I decided to undock and find some more carebears to fuck with in order to relieve some stress and remind myself why I love this game.

With that in mind, I scanned down an unsuspecting Hyperion flown by a carebear named Jesalina Nissem and warped in with my Police Pursuit Comet to try and coax her into a fight.

Yep...EVE porn...
Caught in a trap
Jesalina had left a Mobile Tractor Unit at the entrance to the mission pocket, and herself was sitting some 70km away plugging away at the red crosses, so I began to shoot at the MTU. I carefully kept my drones docked out of the concern that T2 drones might make me look more dangerous and less inviting to shoot. My blasters soon had the MTU in armor as Jesalina rushed over to try and scoop it.

Meanwhile, a neutral Ishkur warped in, flown by one Krig Povelli. I had seen Krig around and shared some chat channels with him, but had never really talked to him, so I couldn't blame him when he decided to warp scramble me.

I knew Krig was likely to have offgrid boosts, and perhaps logi support on the way, so I launched my 3 ECM drones, thinking to make my escape, as I powered up my own warp scrambler and turned my blasters on him. I succeeded at jamming him, and for a moment I probably could have gotten away, but the red mist of battle was clouding my eyes and I went all in.

Next a Dramiel landed. I knew at this point that I was fucked and the Comet was lost, it was just a matter of time. They took out my drones quickly. I figured the only possibility of salvaging a partial victory from this situation was to go after the Dramiel. Drams can be squishy if you can pull them into blaster range, so I overheated my AB and my guns and went for him. I was applying pretty good damage until the last of my drones died but wasn't quite able to break his tank. Then I accidentally burned out my AB, and my last hope was gone. I tried in vain to pull off some slingshot maneuvers and escape, but it just wasn't happening.

I did get to test out my dual rep Comet fit under stress for the first time, though, and found it to be very durable indeed.

All this time Jesalina sat and watched, no doubt laughing as street justice was being done to the impudent ninja who had been disrespecting his MTU.

As I warped my pod to safety, I was invited to a private conversation with the Dramiel pilot, Mogdud Sateros.

[ 2014.04.02 01:37:29 ] Kalim Dabo > o/
[ 2014.04.02 01:37:40 ] Mogdud Saturos > when your le drops off com back out here and get on this hyperion
[ 2014.04.02 01:38:03 ] Kalim Dabo > lol, k
[ 2014.04.02 01:38:12 ] Kalim Dabo > he didn't engage me though
[ 2014.04.02 01:38:16 ] Mogdud Saturos > shes suspect, just dont pop her till we say
[ 2014.04.02 01:38:25 ] Mogdud Saturos > we have kill rights on her
[ 2014.04.02 01:38:48 ] Kalim Dabo > omw
[ 2014.04.02 01:39:03 ] Kalim Dabo > only have a slasher handy
[ 2014.04.02 01:39:20 ] Mogdud Saturos > thats fine, you can get on the kill
[ 2014.04.02 01:39:24 ] Mogdud Saturos > maybe snatch the pod

My attackers generously invited me to share in the execution of Jesalina. I jumped into a Slasher and made my way back to where they were pounding on her hull.

[ 2014.04.02 01:42:11 ] Mogdud Saturos > if we get her to eject then just untarget the ship when I tell you
[ 2014.04.02 01:42:19 ] Kalim Dabo > k
[ 2014.04.02 01:44:01 ] Mogdud Saturos > its looking good
[ 2014.04.02 01:44:06 ] Mogdud Saturos > we may be stealing her hype
[ 2014.04.02 01:44:18 ] Kalim Dabo > sweet

With a little bit of coaxing, Jesalina was persuaded to surrender her Hyperion. My allies walked away a little bit richer, and I made a few new friends in the region. And friends with logi and Orca support are good friends to have indeed.

Suddenly Vindication
I made a quick trip to the Jita to refit and get ready for the next adventure. This time I opted to go for an Ishkur. Since it was late, I went to sleep after I had returned to Osmon fully equipped.

Then this morning I got up and went out to have a quick scan of the neighborhood. The pickings were a little bit slim, but in Inaya, near the Osmon gate, I located a pair of carebears. One was in a Vindicator and the other in a Drake Navy Issue, and they were in a mission pocket together. I was skeptical of trying to take on both of them solo in an assault frigate, but figured I'd warp in with my cloaky scout and at least try and assess the situation. They were both hanging around in a cleared mission room, looting and salvaging their wrecks.

That's when I noticed that the Vindicator pilot had an active killright.

I checked it and saw it was for 100 million isk. Then I checked my wallet and saw that I had 101,269,878.66 isk. (Yeah, I know. I must be terrible at EVE.)

I hopped in my Ishkur and warped in. The Vindi pilot sat perfectly still while I burned out 60 km to him, activated the killright and scrammed him. He may have been afk, because it took about 5 minutes for him to pull in his salvage drones and get out his Hobgoblins, which I then dispatched. He had no hope whatsoever of landing a single hit on me with his 425mm railguns while I orbited at 500m, so without drones to help him, it was just a matter of slowly burning him down.

Meanwhile, the Navy Drake pilot moved closer and gave me the carebear stare. Since I had activated a killright, there was no need for me  to incur a suspect flag this time, and his only hope of stopping me was to set his safety to red, commend his soul to CONCORD, and open fire. This he did without making any noticeable impact on my shields. It was poetic to see CONCORD, so often touted as the saviour of carebears, show up to put a carebear down.

With his only hope of assistance gone and criminally flagged, the Vindicator pilot accepted my conversation and we began to discuss the terms of his surrender.

[ 2014.04.02 13:00:08 ] 1 CTPAHHUK > да (yes)
[ 2014.04.02 13:00:14 ] Kalim Dabo > 400 million isk or the Vindicator dies
[ 2014.04.02 13:00:22 ] 1 CTPAHHUK > ок
[ 2014.04.02 13:01:03 ] Kalim Dabo > send the isk now
[ 2014.04.02 13:01:25 ] 1 CTPAHHUK > 200
[ 2014.04.02 13:01:52 ] Kalim Dabo > send it
[ 2014.04.02 13:03:07 ] Kalim Dabo > send it NOW!
[ 2014.04.02 13:03:07 ] 1 CTPAHHUK > Стой (stop)
[ 2014.04.02 13:04:15 ] 1 CTPAHHUK > стой (stop)

My wallet blinked and I saw that he had sent 200 mil.

[ 2014.04.02 13:04:33 ] Kalim Dabo > ok, now send 200 more - the ransom is 400 mil
[ 2014.04.02 13:04:42 ] 1 CTPAHHUK > отправил (sent)
[ 2014.04.02 13:05:26 ] Kalim Dabo > thanks for doing business!

Then I podded him.

I looted as much as I could carry from the Vindi wreck, then went back to the station to dump it and come back to loot the Navy Drake and get the rest. It ended up taking several trips to get it all - large railguns are large.

As I went back for the last time, the Navy Drake pilot who had attempted to gank me evidently had lost his criminal flag and come back in an Impairor to get what he could. We landed on the acceleration gate at the same time and warped in to the mission room. Then it was a race to the wreck. He convoed me.

[ 2014.04.02 13:17:58 ] Kalim Dabo > o/
[ 2014.04.02 13:18:18 ] CTAPbIU EBPEU > сегодня твой день (Today is your day.)
[ 2014.04.02 13:18:41 ] Kalim Dabo > sorry, my russian is a little rusty

I was about 20km form him and had a generous lead in the race at this point, when he opened fire on me once again. I loled and set my drones on him as I turned around. His rookie ship was no match for my elite PvP excellence however, and I quickly destroyed him, then killed his pod too.

[ 2014.04.02 13:20:22 ] Kalim Dabo > that was unwise, sir
[ 2014.04.02 13:21:26 ] CTAPbIU EBPEU > normally
[ 2014.04.02 13:21:32 ] Kalim Dabo > :D

Even pirates have a heart...
After all this went down I was invited to yet another conversation with the Vindicator pilot.

[ 2014.04.02 13:09:23 ] Kalim Dabo > how can i help you?
[ 2014.04.02 13:10:09 ] 1 CTPAHHUK > так не делают деньги верни (so do not bring back the money)
[ 2014.04.02 13:11:19 ] 1 CTPAHHUK > bring back money
[ 2014.04.02 13:11:47 ] Kalim Dabo > lol
[ 2014.04.02 13:12:14 ] Kalim Dabo > i'll donate it to charity, how about that?
[ 2014.04.02 13:13:18 ] 1 CTPAHHUK > God Stobie

I work hard to be a successful EVE pirate, and obviously I have a great deal of pride in my workmanship. That said, what would the community think of me if I went around giving ransom money back after I have collected it? Especially since the individual in question stiffed me, paying me only 200 mil when I asked for 400.

However, I do have a heart and sympathize with 1 CTPAHHUK's loss. So as a compromise I agreed to donate the 200 million isk to charity in his name. After all, he's a rich Vindicator pilot, obviously he can afford it. So in that spirit, I have sent the 200 mil to James 315 and the New Order of Highsec, to purchase 200 shares in 1 CTPAHHUK's name. I'm sure that James will use the money to do good works all over high sec.

Killing it forward
This thrilling highsec game content was dedicated to all the carebears out there in forums and blogs calling for additional nerfs to highsec PvP and pirate culture. In particular, I dedicated these murders to Mr. Ripard Teg for his recent heresy. If he has a soul he will reimburse their losses.

The killings will continue until all carebears HTFU.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Impeach Ripard Teg?

I told my readers about a year ago that I wouldn't ever write about CSM politics again. Before I ever started my own EVE blog, I was a fan of other blogs like Finders & Keepers, Rifter Drifter, Hallo Can I Violence Ur Boat, My Loot Your Tears, and other greats. All of the blogs that I enjoyed, and still enjoy, are those which focus on the actual experience of EVE, and don't try to lecture the reader on space politics or ideas for game development. I have tried to follow that principle myself - to blog about the adventures I'm having in this amazing game and leave the readers to think for themselves when it comes to all the boring crap.

Today, I'm going to break my own rule and talk about the CSM. Or rather, about one CSM member in particular - Mr. Ripard "Jester" Teg, author of the popular EVE blog "Jester's Trek".

Why talk about Ripard Teg?
Excellent question. I want to talk about Ripard Teg today, because he recently instigated a pretty significant scandal for our game community that resulted in the permanent ban of well-known isk doubler Erotica 1.

Everyone who is even remotely connected knows the details of that scandal and has their opinion about it. My own feeling is that CCP was justified in the decision that they made, but I'm not really here to talk about that today.

What I want to discuss is the role of Mr. Teg in the affair, whether he did wrong, and whether there should be any consequences if he did.

What did Ripard Teg do wrong?
If you were to post in the EVE online forums, "Hey everybody, I've become aware of a situation in which several players harassed another player, and I've got a Teamspeak recording of the whole thing," the thread would almost immediately be locked. You would no doubt be informed that you can file a petition to report any violations of the EULA or ToS.

"...this is the EVE equivalent of the Jerry Springer show. In lieu
of paternity tests and transgender midget love triangles we've got a
bunch of guys picking on a man-child. Ripard's playing Springer,
putting the thing on a stage, publicly shaking his head and delivering
shame-on-all-of-you's so that he may run for re-election as mayor of
Cincinnati. After all, he assumes, none of us are bright enough to see
through the charade. All of us voting idiots will just eat this shit up."
- Daniel Whitaker
Since Ripard Teg is a member of the CSM, it is safe to assume that he knows the correct process for reporting rule violations. It is also likely that he has additional channels of his communication at his disposal in the case that he feels the need to bring a situation to the attention of the developers directly.

Yet, for some reason, rather than using these legitimate channels, Teg chose to publish a public call-out thread in his blog, rife with inaccuracies, exaggerations, and the most blatant sort of rumor-mongering. The content which he reported was a legitimate cause for concern, but the way he reported it was calculated to incite a virtual lynch mob.

There are only three reasons that I can think of why he would choose to do this, all of them ugly. The first and most straightforward is that he wanted to coerce CCP to hand down a ban or face wider media attention for supporting griefers. In other words, he was trying to bully CCP into doing things his way. The second is that he just wanted the attention, that he gets off somehow on it. The third possibility is that creating this scandal fuels his own political agenda as a CSM. He has long argued that highsec PvP needs continued nerfs, so perhaps he published this as an attempt to discredit the minerbumping and Belligerent Undesirables communities and the playstyles that they represent.

But EVE culture is bad! Drastic measures need to be taken to purge the Reavers from the game...
This seems to be Mr. Teg's argument. He has fallen into the carebear mentality of associating in-game criminal activities with out-of-game criminal behavior. This idea is so absurd that it is almost not worth rebutting.

EVE Online is a role playing game, and from what I understand, it is one of the few online role playing games available on the market which allows you to play as a bad person. Since I have never played any other online game, I can't say for sure whether this is true or not. In any case, I can tell you that it is a lot of fun to roleplay a douchebag criminal type, even if you are a genuinely nice guy in the real world.

When I first was invited to join Belligerent Undesirables, I had a bit of apprehension that these highsec "griefers" wouldn't be nice people to be around. I couldn't have been more wrong. Outsiders never believe me when I tell them that the "griefer" community is the most mature community in the game, but I assure you that it is true. BU chat is only slightly less PG rated than chat.e-uni (about the only time you see profanity is when we are quoting what some irate carebear called us). I have never seen a newbie in BU or minerbumping chat who wasn't getting straightforward answers to his questions and genuine offers of help.

Teg would have you believe that the infamous "bonus round" tape is a typical example of the "Reaver" culture that he is allegedly trying to save us all from, when in fact it is anything but. No doubt he scoured the internet for the worst example of EVE "griefing" that he could find, and then made sure to represent it as being even worse than it actually was, so that readers who were too lazy to listen for themselves would know how they were supposed to feel.

Ohno! The Reavers are in Jita!
What should be done with him?
I generally don't like to call for players to be punished by CCP. Since this is my blog though, and I am
not a member of nor candidate for CSM, I think I will. If it was my decision to make, I'd probably boot him from the CSM and give him a temporary ban. Since he's not running for reelection, booting him would be a symbolic gesture - a small statement that yes, CCP holds CSM members to a higher standard of personal conduct. As should they.

I don't expect that to actually happen, though, so instead, Ripard Teg should voluntarily step down, and publish an apology to the community for the disrespect for our collective maturity and intelligence that he has shown. Of course, yeah that isn't going to happen either. I am not even sure if he yet has the perspective to see how badly in the wrong he has been. I will give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he is actually a good person behind the keyboard, and will eventually come to understand.

Really, we know that nothing is going to happen to Ripard Teg. Perhaps the best we can hope for is some statement from Devs, current CSM members or CSM candidates to say,"Yes, Ripard Teg was out of line. Yes, he abused his position to discredit a segment of the community and that is not ok. Yes, a good CSM is supposed to represent the whole community, from the wide-eyed newbies to the lifelong carebears to the small gang PvPers to the wormholers to the nullbears and yes, by God, even the pirates gankers and scammers."

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Grand Theft Spaceship

Inspired by my fellow EVE blogger Feyd Rautha Harkonnen and his kill-it-forward program, I took to the skies of Osmon today in a shiny new Police Pursuit Comet to try to kill a carebear in retaliation for forum whiners calling for continued nerfs to highsec PvP. I had 2 or 3 false starts, bears who just wouldn't engage in spite of my best efforts to make an ass of myself.

Finally I warped in on a player named Exterminator CaveMan, who was running a mission in a Drake. He had just finished killing the rats, and was cleaning up the site. I went flashy by shooting at his MTU, and he quickly redboxed me.

The Game
I launched my 3 Hobgoblin 2s and quickly put down all of his Hob 1s as I warp scrambled his hull, then opened a convo with him.

[ 2014.03.28 01:44:22 ] Exterminator CaveMan > hello
[ 2014.03.28 01:44:39 ] Kalim Dabo > o/
[ 2014.03.28 01:44:52 ] Kalim Dabo > 50 mil or the drake dies
[ 2014.03.28 01:45:15 ] Exterminator CaveMan > ok ass long as you stop
[ 2014.03.28 01:45:24 ] Kalim Dabo > ok, send the isk, i'll stop
[ 2014.03.28 01:45:43 ] Exterminator CaveMan > done

My wallet blinked and I checked it, finding to my surprise that he had actually sent the 50 million. I was
so taken aback by the speed with which he paid the ransom that I wasn't sure what to do next, but luckily my Suddenly Ninjas training kicked in and I thought of trying to steal his Drake.

[ 2014.03.28 01:46:09 ] Kalim Dabo > ok, there's just one more thing
[ 2014.03.28 01:46:14 ] Exterminator CaveMan > remove the warp disruptor pls
[ 2014.03.28 01:46:16 ] Kalim Dabo > i'll need a trophy kill
[ 2014.03.28 01:46:28 ] Kalim Dabo > this is what you need to do -
[ 2014.03.28 01:46:30 ] Exterminator CaveMan > I am noobie - what is a trophy kill
[ 2014.03.28 01:46:47 ] Kalim Dabo > eject from the drake, go to station and get a rookie ship, then come back
[ 2014.03.28 01:47:03 ] Kalim Dabo > i kill the rookie ship, then let you have the drake back
[ 2014.03.28 01:47:26 ] Kalim Dabo > understand?
[ 2014.03.28 01:47:38 ] Exterminator CaveMan > I will bring one to you - shuttle do ??
[ 2014.03.28 01:47:44 ] Kalim Dabo > sure
[ 2014.03.28 01:48:01 ] Exterminator CaveMan > I will warp a shuttle in, if you remove the disruptor when it comes in
[ 2014.03.28 01:48:20 ] Kalim Dabo > sure

My intent, of course, was to get him to eject and go get a rookie ship, thereby allowing me to board his Drake, but instead he brought in an alt in a shuttle - I just rolled with it.

[ 2014.03.28 01:48:30 ] Exterminator CaveMan > warping in now...
[ 2014.03.28 01:49:05 ] Exterminator CaveMan > shuttle is in grid
[ 2014.03.28 01:49:12 ] Kalim Dabo > ok, move him closer so i can hit him
[ 2014.03.28 01:49:18 ] Kalim Dabo > then accept the duel
[ 2014.03.28 01:49:39 ] Exterminator CaveMan > looking for where to accept
[ 2014.03.28 01:49:51 ] Kalim Dabo > sorry, you blocked duel requests, so you need to challenge me
[ 2014.03.28 01:49:58 ] Exterminator CaveMan > done
[ 2014.03.28 01:50:01 ] Exterminator CaveMan > remove warp pls
[ 2014.03.28 01:50:27 ] Exterminator CaveMan > warp is not disengaged
[ 2014.03.28 01:50:55 ] Kalim Dabo > lol, that didn't work as planned
[ 2014.03.28 01:51:05 ] Exterminator CaveMan > why not
[ 2014.03.28 01:51:07 ] Kalim Dabo > sorry, was a diabolical ruse
[ 2014.03.28 01:51:26 ] Kalim Dabo > you were supposed to eject, therby allowing me to steal your ship :D
[ 2014.03.28 01:51:41 ] Kalim Dabo > i'm sorry to say i have to kill you now

My finger twitched towards the F1 button, when to my surprise, he ejected from his Drake and warped off with his pod.

[ 2014.03.28 01:52:13 ] Kalim Dabo > wow, thanks
[ 2014.03.28 01:52:21 ] Kalim Dabo > o7

Revenge of the Carebear
I then had my alt warp in with a pod, board the Drake, and deliver it to station. That done, I spent a moment inspecting my surroundings, when suddenly, an avenging Cormorant warped to my position and opened fire. I chortled with bloodlust and glee and targeted him, switched to null, set my orbit at 7500m, and set my drones on him.

The Cormorant kited away from me, and I started taking an unexpected amount of damage. He was microwarpdrive and rail-fit, contrary to my expectations, and was tearing into my armor in no time. My dual reppers struggled to keep up. He also showed good sense in reacting to my drones, blapping my first wave of 3 Hob 2s within seconds, and then making short work of my second wave of 3 Hornet EC-300s.

Once he had finished off my drones, he then made his fatal error, moving close enough that I could get scram on him and move into blaster range. It was an amazing fight, and he showed both balls and competence wholly unexpected in a mission bear, and almost took down my blinged Comet with a T1, low-SP dessy.

The Aftermath
I then returned to station to check out what I had stolen and to repair my ship and make it ready for more shenanigans, when Exterminator opened a second convo.

[ 2014.03.28 02:03:32 ] Kalim Dabo > that was fun, no?
[ 2014.03.28 02:03:37 ] Exterminator CaveMan > can I ask a couple of questions pls
[ 2014.03.28 02:03:41 ] Kalim Dabo > sure
[ 2014.03.28 02:03:52 ] Exterminator CaveMan > when I warped in the drake and tayra were not on my map - were they gone ??
[ 2014.03.28 02:04:21 ] Kalim Dabo > i'm not sure about the tayra, but yes, i stole the drake
[ 2014.03.28 02:04:34 ] Kalim Dabo > had an alt warp in and board it, then leave
[ 2014.03.28 02:04:58 ] Exterminator CaveMan > I stuck around to understand how to pick up the tayra.... when you arrived....
[ 2014.03.28 02:05:19 ] Exterminator CaveMan > I do appreciate the experience even if it did cost me something....
[ 2014.03.28 02:05:25 ] Kalim Dabo > that was actually a really good fight with the cormorant, you almost had me
[ 2014.03.28 02:05:49 ] Kalim Dabo > i thought you had blasters, so i kept out at range and your rails were killing me
[ 2014.03.28 02:05:52 ] Exterminator CaveMan > I put it all up to experience....
[ 2014.03.28 02:06:04 ] Kalim Dabo > you also killed the drones first which was a smart move
[ 2014.03.28 02:06:15 ] Exterminator CaveMan > what did you use to repair your armor so quickly - my rails became ineffective
[ 2014.03.28 02:06:38 ] Kalim Dabo > i have 2 small armor reppers
[ 2014.03.28 02:06:43 ] Exterminator CaveMan > the drone kill mean't you paid something for the fight, and kept them off my back...
[ 2014.03.28 02:06:51 ] Kalim Dabo > and a cap booster to keep them running
[ 2014.03.28 02:06:55 ] Kalim Dabo > yep
[ 2014.03.28 02:07:07 ] Exterminator CaveMan > They do seem to work well...
[ 2014.03.28 02:07:23 ] Kalim Dabo > yeah, i'm pretty happy with the fit
[ 2014.03.28 02:07:37 ] Kalim Dabo > it doesn't work well against high alpha damage though
[ 2014.03.28 02:07:38 ] Exterminator CaveMan > thanks again....   I am training up a combat pilot so it is good to understand how the different equipment can work
[ 2014.03.28 02:07:44 ] Kalim Dabo > sure
[ 2014.03.28 02:07:48 ] Exterminator CaveMan > what is high alpha ??
[ 2014.03.28 02:08:00 ] Kalim Dabo > the damage from a single volley
[ 2014.03.28 02:08:06 ] Exterminator CaveMan > ta
[ 2014.03.28 02:08:18 ] Kalim Dabo > :)
[ 2014.03.28 02:08:22 ] Exterminator CaveMan > not sure why my missles could not target you from the drake
[ 2014.03.28 02:09:14 ] Kalim Dabo > i had ecm drones out at first, maybe you were jammed?
[ 2014.03.28 02:09:56 ] Exterminator CaveMan > so having ecm drones, means your ship does not need a ecm on board, leaving you free to fit the other modules....
[ 2014.03.28 02:10:27 ] Exterminator CaveMan > can I have my 50mil back now....  you did get a drake out of it ?
[ 2014.03.28 02:10:42 ] Kalim Dabo > yes, but they have less chance of working than ECM modules on a dedicated ECM ship like a griffin or blackbird
[ 2014.03.28 02:11:10 ] Kalim Dabo > i'm afraid i need to keep the isk :D what sort of pirate would i be if i gave it back?
[ 2014.03.28 02:11:31 ] Exterminator CaveMan > thought as much - till next time then my hearties....
[ 2014.03.28 02:12:24 ] Kalim Dabo > best of luck to you

The Spoils
In addition to the 50 million isk "ransom" that I collected, the Drake that I stole was fitted with 6 Caldari Navy Heavy Missile Launchers, which are worth about 50 mil each in Jita, so the whole ship netted me something in the neighborhood of 350 million isk. The Cormorant dropped a Coreli A-Type 1mn MWD worth roughly 26 million. So the evening's entertainment earned me a total of about 426 million isk for about an hour's work. Who says crime doesn't pay?

The good news is that I killed a carebear. The bad news is that he turned out to be the greatest carebear of all time and nearly raped me with his counterattack. In fact, by the authority vested in me as a pirate by the Gods of Pew, I hereby declare that Exterminator CaveMan is No Longer a Carebear, but a worthy young combat pilot that any pirate organization should be proud to have on their crew.

If I weren't so absurdly space-poor right now, I would shower him with isk for the courage that he showed tonight. If you are feeling generous, I would encourage you to send him a contribution.

That said, I can not in good conscience count this as the contribution to the kill-it-forward program that I had intended, and so I will need to get back out there and kill another bear. Because God wills it. Or so I hear.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Wars and Random Aggressions

I've been playing the game a bit sporadically since my last update, so I'm not sure exactly where to begin. Maybe with my war against New Trade Republic? Sure, let's go with that.

New Trade Republic
You will recall that for the last month or so I have been stomping these guys at every turn. They seemed to be completely incapable of adapting to war conditions, losing two Orcas and numerous mining barges, as well as a few combat ships. Their one victory was when I decided to take a fight against a Thrasher and a Vexor on their home station undock with my Merlin.

Lately NTR2 has been a bit more cautious. They no longer are taking Orca supported mining ops out with me one jump away. When I log in, they seem to dock up and go afk. I did kill a Procurer or two, and an Exequror Navy Issue a few days ago. I got in an engagement with a Brutix on the BCF undock in Hek, but a Cynabal warped in when I had him at around 60% armor. I debated taking them both on, but it seemed a bit much for my Nearly Invincible Merlin, so I disengaged. Shortly after that, all of them who were online showed up in local. I wanted to see what they had, so I unlocked in my Hurricane. I saw a Megathron, Navy Cane, Cynabal, some other things. They scattered and ran as soon as I appeared.

Around that time, I noticed my wallet blinking, and found that I had received a gift of 50 million isk. Then I got an EVE-mail.

This week of war is sponsored by Edrissa Ikesric
Last week I forgot to pay the bill and the war expired. I might have left it at that, since it is obvious that they will never pay the ransom, but then they booted me from their Teamspeak as I was trying to reach out to them and have a reasonable conversation, so now the war is back on.

Other Wars
You will recall that last time I mentioned that I had wardecced an alliance called Rush Unlimited. It turned out to be fairly ill conceived on my part. The first issue was that they were based far from home. Having to make 20 jumps to go after them stretched my resources and made it tough to capitalize on opportunities. They basically went into bunker mode and didn't make many mistakes. I lost a Merlin and a Gnosis in foolish attacks in their home system, decided to chalk it up as a loss and let the war expire.

I also wardecced a corporation called Gangplank Industries. They seem to be down for some goodfights, but I have been too distracted to really participate. I lost one Merlin and killed a Procurer and pod. This war will expire soon and I think I will let it, but may dec them again when I have the time to focus my attention on it.

The story of how this war began is actually more interesting than the war itself. I was considering them as a target, kind of just poking around to see what they like to do in peacetime. As usual, I was flying a Merlin. I spotted one of their pilots in a Raven on a gate, and on a whim I sent him a duel invite. He warped off to a station and accepted the duel while in warp, so I called him out on it in local.

[ 2014.02.08 21:16:33 ] Kalim Dabo > Larah Chun-Lee come back, coward
[ 2014.02.08 21:16:47 ] Kalim Dabo > let's fight
[ 2014.02.08 21:17:10 ] Larah Chun-Lee > no i pressed the wrong button + i dont want to loose my new raven
[ 2014.02.08 21:17:19 ] Kalim Dabo > i'm in a merlin
[ 2014.02.08 21:17:32 ] Kalim Dabo > probly can't break your tank anyway :D
[ 2014.02.08 21:17:33 ] Larah Chun-Lee > I have no tank
[ 2014.02.08 21:17:44 ] Yumla Cos > lol
[ 2014.02.08 21:18:02 ] Graham Oriki > rofl
[ 2014.02.08 21:18:13 ] Kalim Dabo > i'm not sure i can forgive this act of cowardice
[ 2014.02.08 21:19:00 ] Larah Chun-Lee > what auto rooting?
[ 2014.02.08 21:19:24 ] Kalim Dabo > running away after accepting an honourable duel
[ 2014.02.08 21:19:52 ] Kalim Dabo > prepare yourselves
[ 2014.02.08 21:20:27 ] Kalim Dabo > i will have my just and lawful revenge
[ 2014.02.08 21:20:34 ] Larah Chun-Lee > actually i started warping before i accepted plus as i said i miss clicked
[ 2014.02.08 21:20:48 ] Kalim Dabo > a likely excuse
[ 2014.02.08 21:21:05 ] Kalim Dabo > tell you what, for 100 million isk i will overlook the whole thing
[ 2014.02.08 21:21:36 ] Larah Chun-Lee > well as i said i have a new raven which means i am bust
[ 2014.02.08 21:21:55 ] Kalim Dabo > contract me the raven and we'll call it good
[ 2014.02.08 21:22:27 ] Larah Chun-Lee > hell no then I would have no way to make Iskies
[ 2014.02.08 21:22:50 ] Teladius > fuck iskies
[ 2014.02.08 21:23:09 ] Kalim Dabo > either that or i destroy the raven and you still have no way to make iskies
[ 2014.02.08 21:23:27 ] Larah Chun-Lee > how you gonna destroy it?
[ 2014.02.08 21:23:38 ] Kalim Dabo > with my Nearly Invincible Merlin
[ 2014.02.08 21:23:51 ] Kalim Dabo > in lawful combat, 24 hours from now

At this moment I put in the wardec.

[ 2014.02.08 21:23:56 ] Larah Chun-Lee > but you cant destroy stuff in station
[ 2014.02.08 21:24:26 ] Kalim Dabo > i'm not in station
[ 2014.02.08 21:24:32 ] Larah Chun-Lee > I am
[ 2014.02.08 21:24:38 ] Hiba Dacella > who cares
[ 2014.02.08 21:24:48 ] Kalim Dabo > oh, wtf then, come out of station and fight me
[ 2014.02.08 21:24:51 ] Hiba Dacella > stop spamming local
[ 2014.02.08 21:24:57 ] Larah Chun-Lee > and just broke up from uni yesterday so wont be on for a week
[ 2014.02.08 21:25:23 ] Hiba Dacella > how long does a duel last
[ 2014.02.08 21:25:42 ] Kalim Dabo > ok, i'll take it out on your corpmates then, when the war starts
[ 2014.02.08 21:25:44 ] Megan DeMonet > till its over
[ 2014.02.08 21:26:03 ] Larah Chun-Lee > You got one hell of a grudge there
[ 2014.02.08 21:26:32 ] Kalim Dabo > I can't abide breaches of space-etiquette in my system
[ 2014.02.08 21:27:04 ] Kalim Dabo > however, i will forgive them for the right price
[ 2014.02.08 21:27:12 ] Larah Chun-Lee > lel i never knew you could own systems
[ 2014.02.08 21:27:20 ] Kalim Dabo > of course you can
[ 2014.02.08 21:27:41 ] Kalim Dabo > i own Nakugard
[ 2014.02.08 21:27:55 ] Kalim Dabo > ask Oscuro Gancho, who thought he could challenge me
[ 2014.02.08 21:28:28 ] Larah Chun-Lee > owww you are not at gate anymore
[ 2014.02.08 21:28:38 ] Kalim Dabo > coming back for you

I warp back to the gate and find him there with his Raven, put in another duel request, which he accepts, and the fight begins. I got a tight orbit on him and began killing off his drones one at a time. The incoming damage was barely tankable with my MASB until the drones were gone, at which point it wasn't too bad, but I still needed to burn off a cap booster charge every 30 seconds or so. I reloaded the ASB twice, maybe three times, and used up all the charges that I had, then had to pulse it on cap alone two times. The last one killed my scram, AB, and guns, but luckily he didn't manage to run away, and picked that moment to stop shooting and give up.

[ 2014.02.08 21:31:30 ] Lisabeth Inkura > you goign to get all 8 of you ?
[ 2014.02.08 21:32:29 ] Lisabeth Inkura > how the hell can you lose 186 capsules?
[ 2014.02.08 21:36:52 ] Larah Chun-Lee > out of ammo soon
[ 2014.02.08 21:37:20 ] Kalim Dabo > not me :)
[ 2014.02.08 21:38:47 ] Larah Chun-Lee > out off ammo :/
[ 2014.02.08 21:40:24 ] Kalim Dabo > pay me 80 mil or i kill you
[ 2014.02.08 21:40:34 ] Kalim Dabo > fast
[ 2014.02.08 21:40:52 ] Kalim Dabo > too slow
[ 2014.02.08 21:40:54 ] Kalim Dabo > gf
[ 2014.02.08 21:41:03 ] Hiba Dacella > why does he need to pay you?
[ 2014.02.08 21:41:10 ] Megan DeMonet > he dont now

[ 2014.02.08 21:41:17 ] Praq27 > so he can make money and get a kill
[ 2014.02.08 21:41:20 ] Larah Chun-Lee > I SAID NO MONEY Y U NO LISTEN
[ 2014.02.08 21:41:23 ] Praq27 > why else
[ 2014.02.08 21:41:24 ] Yumla Cos > well 80mil would have been cheaper than a death raven
[ 2014.02.08 21:41:44 ] Hiba Dacella > ddid he lose his raven?
[ 2014.02.08 21:41:49 ] Graham Oriki > yes
[ 2014.02.08 21:41:52 ] Democlez Musana > yep
[ 2014.02.08 21:41:54 ] Larah Chun-Lee > not when i got paid plat insurence
[ 2014.02.08 21:41:57 ] sin tausong > linky linky
[ 2014.02.08 21:42:13 ] Hiba Dacella > how did you engage with no concord?
[ 2014.02.08 21:42:20 ] Ventris Uriel > duel
[ 2014.02.08 21:42:22 ] Kalim Dabo > duel
[ 2014.02.08 21:42:25 ] Kalim Dabo > Kill: Larah Chun-Lee (Raven)
[ 2014.02.08 21:42:25 ] Hiba Dacella > agh
[ 2014.02.08 21:42:36 ] Democlez Musana > ask for a duel or steal from a can
[ 2014.02.08 21:43:05 ] Kalim Dabo > well, thx for the fight
[ 2014.02.08 21:43:06 ] Praq27 > omg lololol
[ 2014.02.08 21:43:20 ] Hiba Dacella > lara your ceo is going to be pissed off
[ 2014.02.08 21:43:31 ] Kalim Dabo > as i see it, your breach of etiquette has been repaired
[ 2014.02.08 21:43:43 ] Democlez Musana > can flipping can be profitable if your expert at running like a bish or... you can over power them
[ 2014.02.08 21:43:59 ] Hiba Dacella > how long does a duel timer last?
[ 2014.02.08 21:44:14 ] Praq27 > its not can flipping... its not paying attention to what ur doing and being lazy in a mission
[ 2014.02.08 21:44:14 ] Kalim Dabo > i'll drop the war if you just reimburse the 50 million isk war fee, beyond that we have no further quarrel
[ 2014.02.08 21:44:17 ] Lisabeth Inkura > 3 mins or so i think
[ 2014.02.08 21:44:22 ] Kalim Dabo > Hiba Dacella 5 minutes i think
[ 2014.02.08 21:44:26 ] Democlez Musana > 15 minutes
[ 2014.02.08 21:44:31 ] Hiba Dacella > lol
[ 2014.02.08 21:44:35 ] Hiba Dacella > 3 5 15
[ 2014.02.08 21:44:41 ] Lisabeth Inkura > thats the one it's less if you use a bomb on rats
[ 2014.02.08 21:44:43 ] Democlez Musana > 15
[ 2014.02.08 21:44:54 ] Kalim Dabo > Democlez Musana it is definitely not 15
[ 2014.02.08 21:44:59 ] Democlez Musana > 5 for duel 10 for encounter timer
[ 2014.02.08 21:45:03 ] Kalim Dabo > that's way long
[ 2014.02.08 21:45:06 ] Hiba Dacella > ook
[ 2014.02.08 21:45:24 ] Lisabeth Inkura > if you've got satisfaction how about calling of the dumb war dec ?
[ 2014.02.08 21:45:25 ] Larah Chun-Lee > but you would get that from my dead raven...
[ 2014.02.08 21:45:34 ] Hiba Dacella > why did he not just wait for duel timer to run out and undock?
[ 2014.02.08 21:45:35 ] Kalim Dabo > Lisabeth Inkura i said that i would
[ 2014.02.08 21:45:50 ] Kalim Dabo > you just need to reimburse the 50 mil isk war fee
[ 2014.02.08 21:45:54 ] Democlez Musana > they are war decked
[ 2014.02.08 21:46:00 ] Hiba Dacella > agh i see
[ 2014.02.08 21:46:06 ] Democlez Musana > they can fire on eachother no matter wgat
[ 2014.02.08 21:46:12 ] Larah Chun-Lee > my dead raven probly gave you 50 mil
[ 2014.02.08 21:46:15 ] Hiba Dacella > yah
[ 2014.02.08 21:46:27 ] Larah Chun-Lee > whilst fighting the timer does not go down
[ 2014.02.08 21:46:29 ] Kalim Dabo > Democlez Musana the war actually starts tomorrow, it was just a duel
[ 2014.02.08 21:46:35 ] Hiba Dacella > cant belive you undocked a raven when you under war deck mate
[ 2014.02.08 21:46:46 ] Democlez Musana > Kalim Dabo ooh ok
[ 2014.02.08 21:46:55 ] Larah Chun-Lee > not war deck yet.................................
[ 2014.02.08 21:46:57 ] Hiba Dacella > so he lost a raven to a duel?
[ 2014.02.08 21:47:02 ] Democlez Musana > yes
[ 2014.02.08 21:47:04 ] Hiba Dacella > omg
[ 2014.02.08 21:47:15 ] Democlez Musana > said war dec starts tommorrow
[ 2014.02.08 21:47:16 ] Kalim Dabo > Larah Chun-Lee i only got 8 mil from the wreck, pay the 42 mil balance and we're good
[ 2014.02.08 21:47:36 ] Hiba Dacella > what is the war thing about?
[ 2014.02.08 21:47:41 ] Hiba Dacella > why war dec them?
[ 2014.02.08 21:47:48 ] Lisabeth Inkura > 24hrs
[ 2014.02.08 21:47:52 ] Larah Chun-Lee > HOW MANY TIMES i got no moneyz
[ 2014.02.08 21:48:06 ] Kalim Dabo > Larah Chun-Lee get your corpmates to pay
[ 2014.02.08 21:48:26 ] Larah Chun-Lee > why it is between us not them
[ 2014.02.08 21:48:26 ] Democlez Musana > war decing is usually over money resources or territory
[ 2014.02.08 21:48:36 ] Kalim Dabo > or contract me assets of equivalent value
[ 2014.02.08 21:48:49 ] Democlez Musana > and at times just for fun or they have a vendetta
[ 2014.02.08 21:48:57 ] Hiba Dacella > ok
[ 2014.02.08 21:49:36 ] Larah Chun-Lee > i am sure you can afford a 42m loss it would only take 2 hours to get it back
[ 2014.02.08 21:49:39 ] Democlez Musana > most war decs ive seen are from smaller corps who get pulled by another corp and declare war
[ 2014.02.08 21:49:43 ] Vylan Fenrir >
[ 2014.02.08 21:50:03 ] Larah Chun-Lee > also war dec does not give us the money so we cant give it back
[ 2014.02.08 21:50:16 ] Kalim Dabo > Larah Chun-Lee very well, i'll need to continue trhe war until i recoup my losses

Right after that he sent a lovely letter apologizing and sent 50 million isk, but I decided to let the war go in anyway because I wanted to kill more noobs.

Ninja Baiting and trying new things
Playing with the Incursus in Lustrevik

I've been flying Merlins almost exclusively in solo PvP for a long time. Just to switch things up a bit I figured that I would fit an Incursus and do some ninja baiting with it. My regular readers will recall that at one point I announced that I intended to master the art of mission infiltration, then got distracted by other things and never spoke of it again.

Today in Lustrevik, I managed to goad a mission Drake into a fight by shooting his Mobile Tractor Unit and killed him handily with my Incursus. Managing the active armor tank will take some getting used to, and I only remembered that I had a drone after the fight, but I think I like this little ship. I offered him very reasonable ransom terms, but he rudely cursed at me and dropped the convo.

The Real Kalim Dabo?
Where is he? He spent an evening heckling me in Hek local, to the amusement of the locals, then hasn't been seen again. His war against me expired uneventfully. Such a shame, I had high expectations of him.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

The Real Kalim Dabo?

I returned from my brief vacation this week, and went back to the business of hunting New Trade Republic pilots in and around Nakugard. I was surprised to find that in spite of being at war and having lost an Orca to a safari last week, they had recruited several new members. Several of their old members had quit, and the rest seemed to be too terrified to undock with me online. Their cowardly "allies", Gekkostate., had abandoned them to their fate.

Hunting and killing
random screenshot
I saw that the NTR CEO, Oscuro Gancho, had replaced his Orca and was mining ice with his alt in
Barkrik, so I jumped over and warped to him. I was defeated by the fact that the warp to the ice anomaly was a solid 120AU, giving him enough time to align and get away. He docked up, and I went back to Hek and logged off. A short while later, my spies informed me that he had undocked a Skiff and headed back to the ice, so I tried again. Again he escaped me. This time I set a logon trap in the anom, but he was spooked and didn't try again.

Later on that day, I killed a few of the new members, who were the only guys willing to undock. I killed a Coveter and a Velator, and killed a fellow by the name of SterlinArcher Archer twice in Ventures, podding him once. Following the second encounter he convoed me several times, called me a "dickbag", then left the conversation.

After several false starts like this, finally he got around to telling me how he really felt.

[ 2014.02.05 04:23:35 ] Kalim Dabo > hello again
[ 2014.02.05 04:23:52 ] Kalim Dabo > i have come to love these little chats
[ 2014.02.05 04:23:53 ] SterlinArcher Archer > so how does it feel to be a bitch who messes with people with one day of experience
[ 2014.02.05 04:24:24 ] SterlinArcher Archer > i mena i think its funny as i have 20 billion in credits and 4 accounts but hey
[ 2014.02.05 04:24:24 ] Kalim Dabo > SterlinArcher Archer you are just a victim of your corpmates transgressions
[ 2014.02.05 04:24:42 ] Kalim Dabo > i'm not picking on you, per se
[ 2014.02.05 04:25:00 ] Kalim Dabo > or at least i wasn't until you opened your mouth :D
[ 2014.02.05 04:25:28 ] SterlinArcher Archer > dude u have no idea ... but hey thats ok u made my list and thats a fun list to be on
[ 2014.02.05 04:25:42 ] Kalim Dabo > that's great!
[ 2014.02.05 04:25:52 ] Kalim Dabo > here's an idea
[ 2014.02.05 04:26:20 ] Kalim Dabo > since you have 2 billion isk in "credits", why don't you just pay the ransom for your corp
[ 2014.02.05 04:26:28 ] SterlinArcher Archer > so let me ask this is your real life this small that u need to take pleasure in messing with people who might not know any better ... becuase thats means your just small a small man just kill yourself in real life
[ 2014.02.05 04:26:30 ] Kalim Dabo > it's only 300 mil atm
[ 2014.02.05 04:26:58 ] Kalim Dabo > my goodness, the mouth on you lol
[ 2014.02.05 04:27:12 ] SterlinArcher Archer > yeah can u tell im a cop in real life
[ 2014.02.05 04:27:37 ] Kalim Dabo > we have much to talk about then
[ 2014.02.05 04:27:55 ] Kalim Dabo > i'm a law enforcement officer in EVE Online
[ 2014.02.05 04:28:03 ] SterlinArcher Archer > i doubt it no real law enforcement person would be a bitch to pick on people with no experience
[ 2014.02.05 04:28:10 ] Kalim Dabo > i enforce the Code
[ 2014.02.05 04:28:22 ] Kalim Dabo > read up on it at
[ 2014.02.05 04:28:31 ] SterlinArcher Archer > we dont prey on the weak
[ 2014.02.05 04:28:44 ] Kalim Dabo > that's what started this war, your corpmates were shameless violators of the law
[ 2014.02.05 04:29:26 ] SterlinArcher Archer > dude i dont have any corp mates i do my things myself
[ 2014.02.05 04:30:26 ] SterlinArcher Archer > on and please post this on your blog u child molesting bitch
[ 2014.02.05 04:30:27 ] Kalim Dabo > you belong to a corporation of law-breakers, but i am willing to overlook that if you do the right thing and buy a mining permit for yourself, and agree to follow the Code
[ 2014.02.05 04:31:00 ] Kalim Dabo > and apologize for your disrespectful language to me publicly on the forums
[ 2014.02.05 04:31:08 ] SterlinArcher Archer > how about you buy my permit to stop being a little weak minded bitch
[ 2014.02.05 04:31:32 ] Kalim Dabo > i am sorry to see that you feel that way
[ 2014.02.05 04:31:41 ] SterlinArcher Archer > oh wait until u see the disrespect that hits the forums without mentioning your name
[ 2014.02.05 04:32:27 ] SterlinArcher Archer > i wanna call the real police in your state or country because you are obviously a child molester
[ 2014.02.05 04:32:30 ] Kalim Dabo > hopefully, one day you will understand the error of your ways, until then I'm afraid I'll have to keep blowing up your imaginary spaceships
[ 2014.02.05 04:33:08 ] SterlinArcher Archer > thats fine my other accounts pay for that fun i could care less have fun child molester
[ 2014.02.05 04:33:31 ] Kalim Dabo > have a nice day then :D
[ 2014.02.05 04:33:50 ] SterlinArcher Archer > yup bitch

The Real Kalim Dabo
This morning I logged on and didn't see any war targets online, so I was running a couple of errands when I received an unsolicited convo request from a character named TheReal KalimDabo KalimDabo. I got the impression that he was trying to "grief" me, but I can't help but think that imitation is the highest form of flattery.

[ 2014.02.05 15:47:32 ] Kalim Dabo > hello there
[ 2014.02.05 15:47:41 ] TheReal KalimDabo KalimDabo > hello u should check out my blog
[ 2014.02.05 15:47:43 ] Kalim Dabo > how may i be of service?
[ 2014.02.05 15:48:04 ] Kalim Dabo > sure, what's the link?
[ 2014.02.05 15:48:24 ] TheReal KalimDabo KalimDabo >
[ 2014.02.05 15:49:38 ] Kalim Dabo > blog not found :(
[ 2014.02.05 15:49:59 ] TheReal KalimDabo KalimDabo >
[ 2014.02.05 15:50:57 ] TheReal KalimDabo KalimDabo > im such a fan im very excited to follow your exploits
[ 2014.02.05 15:51:03 ] Kalim Dabo > these are some succulent tears you're crying, friend
[ 2014.02.05 15:51:23 ] Kalim Dabo > i just wonder what i did to deserve them
[ 2014.02.05 15:51:41 ] TheReal KalimDabo KalimDabo > no crying i was hired by some people
[ 2014.02.05 15:51:48 ] Kalim Dabo > just one suggestion
[ 2014.02.05 15:52:09 ] Kalim Dabo > don't use your real name in your blog profile

More Wars
I've been a bit disappointed with the low number of targets online, so I picked a random alliance called Rush Unlimited from the recruitment channel, got in their own channel to pump them for some intel, then offered them a choice - pay me 100 million isk or face a wardec. They chose wrong. An hour or so later, I find that they have hired some mercs to fight me. It will be interesting to see where that goes.

As I was making some preparations for that war, I got another notification. It turns out my secret admirer has a corp, and wants to fight. I suppose you will need to stay tuned to his blog to see how that one turns out.

The real Kalim Dabo founded the real Revolutionary Front. Stay tuned for details.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

War Report: NTR - Part 2

So my one man war against New Trade Republic for control of the ice fields of Nakugard has been going pretty well. I didn't plan to post an update so soon, since I've only been logging on for an hour or so each evening after work for the last few days, and today I get on a plane and head for warmer climes for my vacation. I didn't really intend to pursue my WTs until I got back. However, some times you just have to be an opportunist.

More Retrievers
For some reason, despite a number of lessons on the topic, NTR guys and their "allies"in GekkoState. still haven't figured out that it's a bad idea to get in a Retriever, wander 3-5 jumps from any possible assistance, and go mining while under wardec. It always ends in one predictable way. I had just logged on to check my skill queue the other day when my spies informed me this was happening again, and I felt obligated to go and do something about it.

Help from an Unexpected Friend
The next day, I was flying around running a few unrelated errands, when I received a convo request from a fellow Belligerent Undesirable. It seemed he had applied to and been accepted in New Trade Republic, in spite of being a somewhat EVE famous corp infiltrator. The convo was kind of confusing (because he was in the middle of murdering his corpmates and had his hands full, I soon found out.) The gist of it was that something was going down in Aderkan and that I should be there.

I flew that way, and found several NTR guys docked up one jump out in Ogoten. I wrongly assumed that this was where the action was, and tried to coax them out of the station. During the next few minutes, several more of them arrived and docked up, all flying pods. I thought this was curious, but am a bit slow to put things together sometimes. Then I decided to check what was going on in Aderkan. In the ice belt I found my BU comrade murdering an NTR Orca with a Gnosis in the midst of a field of wreckage.

[ 2014.01.28 01:44:03 ] Kalim Dabo > MrBlood Tivianne undock and come play
[ 2014.01.28 01:45:59 ] Kalim Dabo > Shonnyboy Solette your manhood and fight me
[ 2014.01.28 01:46:10 ] Kalim Dabo > locate your manhood lol
[ 2014.01.28 01:49:57 ] Kalim Dabo > undock cowards
[ 2014.01.28 01:51:27 ] EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Aderkan
[ 2014.01.28 01:51:48 ] Lilkisco Omni > hey kalim, you are a big douche
[ 2014.01.28 01:52:03 ] Kalim Dabo > me?
[ 2014.01.28 01:52:08 ] Lilkisco Omni > yup
[ 2014.01.28 01:52:11 ] Kalim Dabo > what i do?
[ 2014.01.28 01:52:28 ] Lilkisco Omni > come kill my orca so you can get a raging hard on and stroke it by yourself in your grandmas basement
[ 2014.01.28 01:52:43 ] Kalim Dabo > omw
[ 2014.01.28 01:52:51 ] Kalim Dabo > sounds fun
[ 2014.01.28 01:52:55 ] Yuber Eightfold > pleaase dont shoot me
[ 2014.01.28 01:53:26 ] Lilkisco Omni > kill everyone kalim, they all said you liked it when you took it in the butt from them
[ 2014.01.28 01:53:56 ] Lilkisco Omni > the all powerful kalim
[ 2014.01.28 01:54:11 ] Lilkisco Omni > it would be funny if kalim stole the kill with a merlin after all the work you did yuber
[ 2014.01.28 01:54:57 ] Kalim Dabo > Yuber is a hero, it seems
[ 2014.01.28 01:55:07 ] Kalim Dabo > i wouldn't steal his kill
[ 2014.01.28 01:55:22 ] Lilkisco Omni > which one of you is the catcher?
[ 2014.01.28 01:55:54 ] Lilkisco Omni > I bet its Kalim, I doubt Yuber takes it from anyone
[ 2014.01.28 01:56:45 ] Lilkisco Omni > enjoy the gay sex on top of my wreck boys
[ 2014.01.28 01:57:41 ] Kalim Dabo > gf

It seemed that Lilkisco would need more lessons in politeness.

Reminder of Terms
The war is approaching one week old, so I thought it would be best to make contact with the NTR CEO once again and reiterate my extraordinarily reasonable terms. Yesterday I sent him and other concerned parties a quick message from my phone at work to remind them that they can opt to end this at any time. What reply did I get? Total silence. How rude.

Time to Get Serious
My gentle lessons in internet spaceship etiquette had obviously been falling on deaf ears. Up to this point I had been fighting the entire war in a Merlin, taking goodfights against superior numbers and larger ships, giving the WTs a fair shake by any standard.

When I logged in last night and saw an NTR ice mining fleet in Nakugard with 5 Skiffs and an Orca, I couldn't believe my eyes. How little respect these carebears have for me and the military might of the New Order. How little regard their CEO has for his members, even providing the Orca boosts himself. Obviously, it was time to get serious. No more dicking around in T1 frigates. A little shock and awe was called for.

I hopped into my Hurricane, warped to the ice anomaly, and pointed the Orca, then since I had thoughtfully fitted a second point, I tackled the nearest Skiff as well. The other Skiffs, bizarrely, engaged me with their drones and stayed on the field for some time, rather than going to get in combat ships. Their drones, however, couldn't put a scratch in my tank, and the cargo-fit Orca and Skiff went down quickly in a hail of auto cannon fire. The other Skiffs ran away and docked up before they could share the fate of their CEO and friend.

As I only had a moment to play, I went back to Hek. On the way I encountered a WT Thorax on the gate, and put it down quickly. His pod for some reason decided to slowboat to the gate rather than warping off, so I locked it up with agonizing slowness and put it out of it's misery too.

I know you guys are reading this. Accept the terms. Don't be fools. As an added offer of goodwill, after you pay the ransom and I drop the war, I will gladly sit down with you on teamspeak and tell you how you could have killed me in every significant engagement we had, and how to avoid being targets for this sort of thing in the future.

Accept the terms. They are the most reasonable offer to end a losing war that you will ever see.

    Friday, January 24, 2014

    War Report: New Trade Republic

    New Trade Republic is a highsec mining corp, 30 members, which is active in Nakugard. None of their members possesses a valid New Order mining permit, so on several occasions our people, myself included, have suicide ganked them, then politely instructed them on the Code and on how they can obtain a mining permit. The reactions we got were less than polite and respectful. At this moment in time, Revolutionary Front consists of just me, a few alts, and a few other guys who rarely log in lately. For some time it has been on my to-do list to try my hand at Cannibal Kane style solo wardecs, and this seemed like as good a time as any. So I paid my 50 million isk to CONCORD and declared war.

    First Blood
    About 15 minutes before the war went live, my top secret intel network located a soon-to-be war target mining in a Retriever, about 4 jumps from his closest corp mate. My legion of spies kept an eye on this target, and when there were about 2 minutes to go, I logged in my PvP character, Kalim Dabo. Then I boarded my trusty Merlin, hopped over quickly from Hek, warped directly to the belt and made the first kill of the war.

    Since it was getting late for me, I returned to Hek, played gate aggro games for a few minutes with a gang of vengeful WTs, then docked up and went to bed, satisfied at having a positive war record 7 minutes into the conflict.

    NTR Batphones for Help
    Shortly after the war went live, I was informed that an ally had joined on behalf of the defender, an alliance called GekkoState., 74 members and a few active PvPers among them, primarily in low and null. I then received a mail from one of their members.

    I decided at first that I would basically ignore these guys, in spite of Django's disrespectful attitude. They were not my intended targets, and I had enough people on my watchlist to keep track of. Perhaps I would put them on my list and deal with them later on.

    On the second day of the war, my legion of spies informed me of a WT off on his own in Caldari space. It turned out to be a false lead, but on the way there, I ran into a GekkoState. pilot  named Item 8, who jumped into me on a gate in a Tayra. He then immediately abandoned ship and warped off with his pod, perhaps in a misguided effort to avoid a loss mail.

    Gee, I wonder what this anti-New Order alliance guy was doing along a trade route in an industrial with a passive targeter and cargo scanner equipped? What kind of people has NTR associated itself with in it's war against the evil gankers?

    doel soon and MrBlood
    My army of informants soon notified me of another war target off on his own mining. So I made a few quick jumps with my Merlin and blapped a fellow named doel soon in his Retriever, then killed his pod for good measure, then went back to Hek and logged.

    Within a half hour or so, I was notified that another one, MrsBlood theBloods, was out mining in a Procurer in NTR's home system of Nakugard, with his alt, MrBlood Tivianne, standing watch in a Vexor. Incidentally, the Mr/Mrs Blood couple are the ones whose big mouths caused this war to happen in the first place. Several others were in system, but docked. A warpin was arranged, so I logged in and went directly to his position, melted the face of the Vexor without taking any damage, and pointed the Procurer. I was taking some hits from the drones, so I eliminated them and continued chewing through his tank.

    MrBlood reshipped to an Atron and returned to the fight. I weighed my options but found that the dps from the Atron was so feeble that I could easily tank all of it with an occasional pulse of the ASB, so decided I would overheat my guns, kill the barge, then kill the Atron if it was so foolish as to stay on the field. It was all going swimmingly for me until the Procurer hit about 25% structure, and I realized I had forgotten to turn off the heat and burnt out my guns. I had no choice but to disengage and let the Bloods go.

    NTR begins to fight
    At some point late in Day 2 of the war, I warped to the Nakugard gate in Hek. A number of WTs both in Hek and Nakugard were online, but everyone except Gancho Ohi, of GekkoState. seemed to be docked. Gancho was parked on the gate in a Drake. I scratched my head a bit, wondering who was really there and who was afk, then figured ,"Fuck it, what I got to lose? A Merlin?", so I went ahead and engaged the Drake.

    I got a tight orbit, warp scrambled him and began pounding with my blasters. He unleashed two Valkyrie TP-600s (medium target painting drones), but they only took one volley each to blow away, then I concentrated all my DPS on his shields. He had a formidable buffer tank, but I steadily peeled it back to about 50%. His missiles were hammering on my shields, but not so badly that my ASB couldn't handle it. At that moment, a couple more flashy icons showed up in local chat and an unfriendly Thorax decloaked nearby, so I disengaged and warped away.

    Then I decided to warp back to the gate and assess the situation. The Drake was gone, but the Thorax and a Catalyst were on the gate. They both immediately engaged me, so I jumped through. A Thrasher was on the other side. Acting fast to take advantage of the aggro timer, I switched to Null S and burned to the edge of scram range. As the fight began, I took a couple of hard volleys before I found the sweet spot, then burned him down fast. Just as the Thrasher got to about half structure, the Thorax, Catalyst and Drake all jumped through to our side of the gate and began shooting at me. I overheated my guns, aligned to a celestial, and as the Thrasher popped, I spammed the warp button and made a clean getaway.

    The Pain of Loss
    Sometimes I'm a sucker for a good fight. It is my weakness as a pirate. One the third day, I decided to take on the same Thrasher pilot I had killed the day before, plus his friend MrBlood in a Thorax. The Thorax was at long range, so I figured I could kill the Thrasher, then burn over and kill him. I almost pulled it off, too, but somehow the Thrasher managed to escape in structure, and when I was well along into the Thorax's armor, he warped back into us at his perfect optimal range and opened fire. I attempted to disengage and failed, losing my Nearly Invincible Merlin after only 6 kills.

    I redeemed myself the next day, when once again my enormous and secret network of intelligence agents located MrBlood a couple jumps away from help doing things he really shouldn't be doing under a wardec. In this case, he was running a mission in a Vexor.

    When I warped in on him in a shiny new Merlin, the fight was over almost before it began. I melted his face, and then melted his pod's face. Then I looted all the mission loot I could carry, and melted the faces of all his wrecks for good measure so he wouldn't be able to come back and profit from them. I felt justly avenged.

    Enlisted an Ally: CONCORD Police Captain
    Just this evening, my omniscient order of secret agents noticed a WT Skiff and Orca in the ice fields of Nakugard. Seven or eight other WTs were online, but without testing them I had no way to know who was at the keyboard. So once again I popped up where they didn't want me to be, pointed the Orca, killed a few drones, and soon dscanned the whole gang of them, cruisers, frigates and battlecruisers, warping down on top of me. So I disengaged, warped to a safe, considered my options, then made for the Hek gate. Maybe four of them were there, including my old friend Gancho Ohi in his Drake. I let them get aggro and jumped.

    As the gate effects start, I see the old familiar notice pop up on the screen, "Gancho Ochi, criminals are not welcome blah blah blah, prepare to be destroyed". I land in Hek and quickly burn back, escaping being blapped by a Tornado on the other side, and jump back to Nakugard, not to miss the spectacle of seeing a WT get CONCORDed in front of my face. I'm still not sure what he did, he wouldn't tell me when I asked. My guess? Smartbombed the gate maybe? zKillboard won't say yet.

    In any case, it was a very satisfying thing to watch. I only wish I had acted quickly enough to get it on the war record, even though it probably would have cost me my second Merlin to do so. In any case, I know it was a win for the good guys, and Gancho knows it too.

    Time to Offer Terms
    I figured at this point that the war record, while lacking anything spectacular so far, could still speak for itself. 9 kills (counting Gancho) to one T1 frigate loss. I'm not claiming to be great at this, but I am obviously winning by any measure, not to mention having a great time.

    So I reached out to NTR's CEO and layed down my terms for ending the war. I'm new at this sort of game, so I made a very reasonable offer. I am going back and forth between what can I realistically get them to pay, and whether I want the war to end at all, since it is so much fun for me. In the end I demanded 250 million isk plus any additional war fees that may apply.

    While the war continues, sometime in the next few days I will be going on vacation (in the real world). I will be heading out to camp in a cave on a lonely mountain in the desert, to fast and meditate on the Code. I could be gone for a few days, a week, a month, 40 days and 40 nights, who can say?

    In any case, the war fees are on auto-pay, so when I get back I plan on turning up unexpectedly just at a moment when NTR wishes I hadn't and ruining their day.